Anyone who has experienced the craziness of carrying a tray with a smile and running around amongst the unusually busy or unusually quiet setting of a restaurant, it’s always either one or the other and never in between, would relate to this story of a part of my life I would never forget, a part I think anyone should experience at least once in their lives.
My first experience with serving the public was in Melbourne, Australia. I was doing my final semester in my second year and it was getting boring doing nothing in between classes and not having enough money to go out with friends so I started looking for a job. I got a job with Pets At Home in one of the biggest Malls in the Southern Hemisphere, Chadstone. It was so much fun since we were a new store and we had to do the unpacking of products, setting up of shelves and everything you can think of. Together as a team we accomplished so much and we became very close, all of us! The people I met and befriended there are still my friends today, we looked after dogs abandoned or given up by their owners, all sorts of bunnies, guinea pigs, cats, mice, fish, and birds and...well...extremely smelly rats (they were selling like cake too!) We looked like Steve Irwin in our uniforms and we loved it! The store was huge; it had a Vet Clinic inside, all sorts of pet toys, food, books and anything about pets you can think of!! I enjoyed it a lot, especially when Kate, Bec and I would do and talk about the funniest things, we had the best conversations cleaning the rat cages together, hahahahahaha. My knowledge of different kinds of dog foods, how to raise certain animals, what to do and not to do grew drastically, I love jobs where I can learn, we also allowed pets to shop with their owners so the place was filled with animals and we loved it!
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| Inside Pets @ Home |
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| The Rabbit Den |
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| The Mouse and Rat cages |
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| The Cat and Dog Adoption Centre |
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| The Bird Cages |
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| Our Aquarium |
That December my very good friend, Chelsea, came back home to Australia and I moved in with her in her parent’s home in a little town on the Great Ocean Road called Lorne. It’s one of the most beautiful places I've seen in my life. I think that’s why I loved Port Elizabeth in South Africa so much because it reminded me so much of Lorne, especially the pier. And there are so much English people in PE, I loved it! Chelsea got me a job in the Lorne Pharmacy, we worked there during the day, it was fun, I loved the people there as well, especially Bill the Pharmacist, he was funny! We use to make a lot of fun of him, I enjoyed it! I learned a lot about medicines and vitamins, that’s why I'm so health conscious today, the experience was absolutely amazing!
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| Chelsea and her dad, Garry |
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| Beautiful Lorne |
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| The Town of Lorne in the Distance |
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| The Pier |
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| The famous Foot Road |
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| Men Fishing on the Rocks |
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| The view from the house |
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| The Lorne Bridge |
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| Lorne's Beach |
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| Wild Australian Cockatoos in front of the house |
Chelsea also got me a job at the Grand Pacific Hotel as a waitress, it was a very beautiful place, and I fell in love with it. It was a very old place, looked kind of creepy if you walked around the hallways at night as we did once to put off the lights. That was my first experience with being a waitress and Chelsea taught me everything I needed to know, about taking orders, carrying a lot of plates at once, serving drinks, learning about the different kinds of drinks behind the bar and the different wines. We worked there at nights, and sometimes there would be wedding parties and we would work behind the bar and serve the food in a different section of the hotel that was once the ballroom, it is absolutely beautiful and had this big, huge fire place. The Hotel is nearly surrounded by ocean, almost directly on the beach with the pier stretched in front of it, it was also a bit out of town, on the edge of it, not directly in the centre like the rest of the hotels and restaurants so it was kind of creepy but extremely stunning!! The whole place was classy, expensive, and just plain extraordinary except for the menus...it was printed and copied on plain white paper, I thought that was lame. Anyway, I came to love waitressing as I met so many different people and we all worked together nicely, everyone was friendly, especially Tariq our main chef/manager, he is Afghani, funny and very skinny! I could laugh at him all day. In short, we had a lot of fun; even though Chels despised waitressing I couldn’t have enough of it! By the end I was happy to stop though, and I was on my way back to South Africa on the 1st of March 2009, Chels went back to South Africa just three days before me.
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| Tariq |
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| Chelsea fiercely busy behind the bar |
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| The view on the water from inside the Grand Pacific Hotel |
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| The Grand Pacific Hotel |
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| An old photo of the Hotel |
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| The Hotel from the road |
Little did I know what was lying ahead, I went into a deep depression after returning, but that’s for another blog, no one prepares you for being locked up again behind the bars, electric fences and high walls of Johannesburg. Australia was a dream, South Africa was a prison.
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| Johannesburg |
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| Electric Fencing in Johannesburg |
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| A Women behind bars in Soweto |
For my own good my parents sent me to go visit my aunt for two weeks, she lives in Port Elizabeth, this was in June/July 2009, my parents thought it would pull my out of my darkness, they were very concerned, I was becoming suicidal. They were right; Port Elizabeth did me the world of good. Like I mentioned before it reminded me of Lorne, I was free to walk on the beaches, there were friendly people and parks and fresh air! I must have been desperate as well because the weather was terrible and it was extremely cold, but I loved it! I made a visit to the university and took some brochures. I didn’t think it would lead to anything but I applied for Honours there, even though I was sure I would stay in Johannesburg. When I returned from Port Elizabeth I was doing much better, it was hard work but managed to stay just above the tormenting black waters just enough to breathe a little.
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| Nelson Mandela Bay, Port Elizabeth |
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| Beautiful Beach in Port ELizabeth |
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| Waves Crashing |
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| My first visit to Sardinia Bay, Port ELizabeth, 2009 |
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| My aunt, Andriette |
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| Our feet in the sand at Sardinia |
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| My little cousin, Daniel |
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| The Pier at Port Elizabeth |
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| I visited the Aquarium when the Dolphines, Domino and Domiso, where still there, they were later sent to Hong Kong |
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| My little cousin, Megan and I |
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| Daniel and I |
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| Daniel's little feet with a rose he found me on the beach |
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| My friends and I after my visit to PE |
Chelsea was very concerned, and I blamed my friends for most of it, I projected a lot and I needed help, but somehow I made it, and in December of that year I received the news that the university in Port Elizabeth called Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University (NMMU) offered me to do a Masters with them instead of an Honours, since the degree I did in Monash University, according to them, was very research based and an Honours there would not stimulate me as much. This was great! So I decided to go, and knew that this was the best plan for me, and I was right. My parents encouraged me too; I was scared to tell my friends.
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| My friend Krishna in Mombasa |
That January, 2010, on the 2nd, right after we came back from a holiday in Kwazulu-Natal, I found out that our very good friend Krishna had passed away in a car accident in Mombasa, Kenya. I was devastated, so was everyone at our university who knew her. We did projects together the previous semester, the last time I saw her was that November before everyone left to go home, we did so well in our Geography project, and we went to a debate club together in Johannesburg where I met other new people and she was well respected there. She received the Mandela Rhodes Scholarship and was going to Stellenbosch University to do her Honours, we planned to visit each other, she would come to Port Elizabeth and I would come to Stellenbosch. When we were still together in Melbourne we planned to open up a vegetarian restaurant in Monash South Africa, it didn’t happen…but I think it should!
On behalf of our dream I should have gone and built it in her name! Her death made me forget about Port Elizabeth (PE), my parents had to plan everything, my moving, my accommodation, everything! I was like a zombie, even when I first came to PE it didn’t sink in that I was there until I went to the Church camp to meet new people, to finally start my life, that was in March 2010! Anyway, I first told my friends of my plans for PE on Krishna’s memorial, I think it was all too much to take in for one day, no one made a comment.
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| Everything can be worked out! |
I felt that it was best, especially now, but since then I never doubt the value of any friend, it is so easy to lose each other, LIKE THAT! It doesn't make sense to be mean or cruel or to fight about silly things, it is better to try and get along as much as you can, be happy for each other and work things out, everything can be worked out, nothing is hopeless, there’s always an answer, but this is also for a different blog.
I was busy looking for work in PE but gave up hope after the camp, after my attack. I worked fiercely on my university essays and assignments, it was a distraction. I started to look for a job again in Jun/July but then I decided to go to Namibia with Chelsea and her parents, it was one of the best experiences in my life!!
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| Sossusvlei, Namibia |
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| Sunrise near Sossusvlei |
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| An Orix (Gemsbok) in Namibia |
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| Chelsea and I climbing the dunes |
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| Chelsea's mother, Karen, on top of the Dune |
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| Preparing for some serious dune action |
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| This was the best day of 2010! |
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| We made a few mistakes, and almost rolled the bikes |
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| Elephants in Estosha Park, Namibia |
I went back to PE and started classes again and assignments, so I started to look for a job AGAIN in August, with no luck, and then Chelsea visited me in September, and we did a whole trip from PE to Cape Town and Stellenbosch together, that was amazing as well!! When we returned and she left me again (the last time I saw her), I looked for a job again, and it was already October, I found nothing!!
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| Chelsea and I on our Road Trip! |
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| On top of Table Mountain |
I spoke to my aunt and she suggested waitressing, I didn’t think of that at all, I always set my sights on office jobs but never thought of waitressing again. She also suggested the Coachman restaurant down the road from where I live with the most amazing people you’ll ever meet! (Louise and David Stow) Andriette, my aunt, is like my big sister, she always has good advice and beautiful life lessons! So I went there with a one page CV and gave it to the little white rabbit, known as George, the owner, and this is where the story begins....
I tried every BIG door once I realized that I fell through a hole, the BIG doors suited my degree, it was where I fitted in, until I came across the small door, waitressing, it was an answer out of the room I was stuck in, and the only way out!
If you meet George you will understand why I associate him with a rabbit, this is my favourite animal in the whole world and George is tiny, cute and adorable just like them! He led me into a world unknown, so different from the Grand Pacific Hotel or any other place I served people at. Unconsciously I knew it was “time”, I had to make a plan, I had to follow the rabbit or I’ll be late for a plan in my life set aside for years, like all adventures in our lives!
We arranged an interview for the Monday (this was a Friday afternoon). The Monday I came in and I was interviewed by Dawn, George’s wife, I will never forget the first thing she asked me, “Can you work weekends?” That was so cute! After the interview I was scheduled to start that Wednesday. Little did I know I would stumble upon talking flowers, a mad Hatter, a talking Hair and mouse, and of course the red Queen.
I came that Wednesday with a long black skirt and a long shirt, black stockings and black ballet shoes, and I felt ridiculous as all the girls whore short skirts and looked really hot. I was so out of place, if I wasn’t so confident I would have quite that very night, but I thought the whole affair to be fun and daring. I walked straight up to Dawn who was sitting with a girl at the table, the first time I was introduced to the red Queen (another waitress, this was her kingdom); I thought she was really lovely at first.
Stacey was very much like the Cheshire cat as she taught me everything there was to know about this new world, where I should go, what I should do, and why. She taught me very well, and since I had experience in waitressing I think she was impressed, but that’s just my opinion.
Most of the girls there smoked outside like the caterpillar, and as the new, strange girl I was asked many times “WHO ARE YOU?” and put under the microscope to be analysed, it was assumed that I should know everything, no thought was given to the fact that I am about to learn them. J
The cat wasn’t there when I was first ordered ‘OFF WITH HER HEAD’ by the red Queen when I didn't fill the sugar glass full of sugar, that was scary, but I ignored it since I didn’t have to learn from her and that was a relief, I preferred the cat.
Our manager was very much like the Duchess, she was graceful and we learned together as we both started there the same time; we protected each other and enjoyed each other’s company. Another girl who was older and wiser, Kelly, was like the white Knight with wise words and guidance; I didn’t feel completely left on my own as they were all very supportive in the end.
I have come across a field of talking flowers, some extremely friendly and some strangely awful! These were the customers, and they were all different! My favourite customers were these two old people celebrating their anniversary, the wanted to introduce me to their son…and the lady showed me pictures of her dog and her daughter, it was adorable, they made my evening! I served many people with birthdays but my favourite were this Indian family, their eldest daughter looked so much like Krishna! The father was the birthday boy and I was given a cake to light up and give for desert, this was to be a surprise for the father! As soon as they were finished eating I went to the back to light the cake, and when I came out of the kitchen the father walked straight into me to go to the toilette, he just passed me and laughed, I hurried back to the kitchen! After the loo he came to me and whispered, “I’m ready now…”. I went to the kitchen to light the cake again and bring it to the table, he winked at me and acted very surprised in front of the family, I appreciated that a lot!
The funniest story is about a young couple who was pretty much alone in a corner upstairs, and I served them. They were taking pictures all night and asked me to take a few of them as well, after the main meal the girlfriend took the camera and browsed through the pictures, I noticed how her faced changed from ‘loving’ to ‘extremely angry’ while looking at previous pictures, she pushed the camera into the boyfriend’s hands and asked fiercely “Who the hell is she!!??” I immediately hid behind the wall and laughed while I eaves dropped! They didn’t stay for desert…and walked out the restaurant red faced!
Another crazy incident was this blonde woman, apparently a lawyer, who started drinking at the bar, one thing led to another and she was sitting on the lap of a married man, another customer, by the end of the night…we had to push her into a taxi so we could close up, I hid from her the whole night as she was feeling up the waitresses as well…this is R18 rated! Do not read this paragraph to your kids! LOL!
One very hot evening, where no matter how long you stand in front of the air con you just don’t cool down, a man and his wife came to eat upstairs where it was boiling hot! Before I could serve them their drinks he passed out on the floor…it took him ten minutes to be “normal” again, and they left… The same kind of thing happened to another couple where they ordered their mains and when I brought it up they asked for it to be put in a take-away immediately because they both felt sick… If they only knew how it felt for me to run up and down the whole night. I use to love working upstairs though, it was away from the craziness downstairs, I did not have to work around other waitresses who get so annoyed; I could be in a quiet place with all my customers within eye view, I didn’t mind running up and down as long as I was away from everyone else. It sounds HORRIBLE. I know; I just can’t help it.
But imagine my surprise when I was told to work with the red Queen one day upstairs, I was sure my days…no hours were numbered, but she turned out to be the best person I ever worked with upstairs. I told you, this was an upside down world, I felt like I definitely lost it by keeping this pace up, but I did!
I've shrank and grown in that world more than any human thought possible, it was often a case of mistaken identity! You’re ordered to be something that you normally wouldn’t be, thrown out of your comfort zone, and then put back again, turning and spinning like mad, it was awesome, it was scary, satisfying, nerve wrecking, exhausting and addictive all at the same time, it was completely upside down! You would think you were dreaming, and the next day wake up with throbbing feet as evidence of your nightmare or beautiful dream, it was always different.
I met the little singing mouse and the talking Hair before I met the mad Hatter, Skye was my little mouse, she was so cute and adorable, still is. I just love that girl, and want to put her in my pocket and pull her out when I’m sad. We’re still very very very good friends and it’ll stay that way till we’re very old, it’s one of those relationships where you’ll correspond for years and years and the relationship grows stronger and stronger no matter how far you are from each other! She’s always in my heart singing.
The talking Hare is my dearest Shelly, she’s too adorable, we had lots of fun together too, and she’s very wise and gives guidance, but like all of us she must be mad to be working as a waitress! LOL! Everyone there had a story, and it was very entertaining to listen to all of them, I use to ask MANY questions of everyone, and they use to be very honest and extremely interesting, so many girls from so many different backgrounds, but each one was tough, and you need to be to survive the mad world, they were like pieces of jewels found between the sand and rocks, if you searched hard enough you’ll find it. I enjoyed those girls so much, and they all became my friends, unique and interesting, all in their different, special ways, it was such a blessing, they still are. I even loved the red Queen when most use to stay away.
The second time I was ordered “OFF WITH HER HEAD” was a very silly time when I overheard one night that one of our waiters ate one day when a customer was sitting nearby and after that the rules of eating at the restaurant changed. The next day I told two waitresses ordering food that I think the rules changed, and that they should go ask...the next thing I knew the red Queen was yelling at me asking me to stop spreading lies because it’s confusing everyone, after that she went to the bar where everyone sat and said “I sure told her!” I lost my respect for her and started choosing to work days when she didn’t, until it became impossible because she worked almost every night. I still kept my distance; she scared the shit out of me. But she became friendlier and friendlier and I started trusting her again, because it’s not like me to ignore people for so long or push people out, like I mentioned before, I value people so much after last year’s happenings, life is too short to keep yourself occupied with nonsense like that. I made effort and reached out to her, because she was the only one whose jewel I didn’t find yet and I was determined to!
And to my surprise it was a big shiny diamond, she was absolutely stunning, inspiring, and I loved her very much. We became good friends, because I kept pushing it. I got her and I was never going to let go, even though she made it difficult yelling “OFF WITH HER HEAD!” nearly every night at most of the waitresses, especially the new ones, no one understood that, everyone kept their distance, if only she knew true leadership is kindness not cruelty, she doesn’t know any different though, even though I tried to set an example, she never fell for it. I think this is how she was treated as she grew up, that’s why she thinks that’s how it’s done and that’s all that works, I understood that, but I never understood how she never learned, perhaps it’s a deep rooted anger she struggles to get rid of.
It makes more sense to her to rule by being feared, rather than to be loved. She taught me how to play croquet (symbolic for the “social” game); I got in to it very quickly and tried to stay out of trouble with her and everyone else keeping “watch”.
My whole life became occupied with this job, at night I’ll be working and during the day I’d be sleeping. I was exhausted most of the time, I had to force myself to get up and go to university to get my assignments done as well. The Queen had a day job as well, most of the girls did, I respected that, never knew how they kept it up!! My whole life was spun upside down; I became mad, went out almost every weekend, worked like crazy, almost lost contact with all friends in Australia and started to become depressed again because I couldn’t find a real job.
Then I met the Mad Hatter! Her name was Olivia and she brought a relief to the exhaustion, we did so much together, shopping, going to the beach, going to the movies, talking about nearly everything, and sharing all that was on our minds, we were crazy together, she became the friend I was looking for, we would joke around at work, cover for each other, help each other and almost always joke around.
The red Queen didn’t like it at all, we realized that some time after we became close, we tried to make it better, remembering to invite the Queen everywhere we went, but she only came once. She started treating the Hatter terribly, wanting to behead her every time they were together. I tried very hard to fix it, until I lost it...she found out I painted the roses red, it wasn’t real.
The Queen was very mad one day; I felt sorry for her, she was emotional, but she treated everyone angrily then, as if it was everyone else’s fault. I had to speak to her the next day, instead of being kind I turned the cards and I was the Queen yelling “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” I regretted it terribly! I called the Hatter and told her everything, she was very supportive, and we decided I should make it right. I apologised to the Queen, but she can say that it’s okay, but she never acts like it is. It wasn’t the same; I was going to be beheaded...
That same day I received a call from my parents, I was to return from Wonderland, I was to come back to reality; I was to go back to Johannesburg... It shook me to my core. I knew it was coming soon, I couldn’t live that way forever, I needed a better paying job, even though the waitressing covered a lot of financial holes it wasn’t enough. I was told by a lady from a job agency in PE that I was wasting my time in PE, as a white girl the best she can do for me is a Call Centre job or as a receptionist, I made more money doing waitressing. All the jobs I applied for was BEE jobs, Black Economic Empowerment, meaning if you’re white you shouldn’t bother because there’s no way you’ll get it. As much as I love my country it can be extremely cruel!
I didn’t see much of the Queen, and I went to Johannesburg before my execution. But things became worse for the Hatter, she was finally beheaded, but saved by Poland! She headed there to do English teaching, and I miss her dearly!! L
My adventure was over in Wonderland, and I was certainly back in Johannesburg before I was eaten by the Otter like the rest of the Oysters. I was saved again, just like I was saved by PE from Johannesburg. This had to be done, this had to happen.
I saw the Queen a few times after, when I went for quick visits to PE to go to classes and exams. It was better since the Hatter was away, somehow the Queen was friendlier and happier, I had hope again, and loved her more than ever and thought perhaps she changed; just perhaps she’s come to realize how important relationships are and not to be held up with silliness or fight about stupid things and ideas. Before I knew it I was put on trial for eating a jam tart I never knew existed, but I “grew” confidence I told the Queen all I thought of her, this was the biggest mistake ever! It wasn’t long till she changed again and I was beheaded...yes it happened, and I was crazy to volunteer too, it’s over, and I’m gone, this is where that story ends, maybe I just woke up…life isn’t always a happy ending, I tried to make it better again, but the red Queen has had enough of Alice, it’s not always a sweet life, that’s what I’ve learned. I felt very much like the enemy till I realized I was made to feel that way. I still believe though that we are all capable of anything, no matter how innocent you think you might be or how you feel you might be.
We can make our lives sweet again though, that’s what I decided, so I’m heading for a new Wonderland!
I'm off to South Korea next year, January I’m on my way, with a detour through Melbourne, making my social visit to everyone I know and then headed to a new world, a new time in my life and a new story! I simply can’t wait!! And I’ll go to Sydney after that, meet the man I love and have beautiful children, and we’ll live happily ever after! I think that’s how the bigger story should end. It’s so good to be young and to dream!
