I have been planning to start my blog for about five years now…yes part of the reason was making time, I was busy with life, you know, things, people, and most importantly my degree. I’m still busy studying believe it or not, and yes I am getting sick of it, very much so! I did my undergraduate degree at Monash University, the South African Campus of course, and I’m very proud to say that I was the first student at Monash South Africa, and as a South African student, to graduate with my B.A. (Global) degree, I’m not the only one in the world, there are a few who graduated with this title but a mere handful, but I was the first student and South African at that particular campus. A year and a few months ago, the year 2010 scarcely began when I found out that my friend Krishna died in a car accident in Mombasa, Kenya, I was still dealing with the shock when I was informed that I’ll be going to Port Elizabeth to do my Masters degree at Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University. It all just kind of happened, like God just came to the rescue and decided that I needed to be taken away from Johannesburg, it was getting a bit too much, He had to intervene in my life, I was too consumed in negativity, He saw the perfect opportunity when I was numb from shock causing me to let go of the strong grip I had over my own life, I let go of the steering wheel and He grabbed it before it was too late.
My life in Port Elizabeth, a beautiful coastal town at the bottom of South Africa in the Eastern Cape Province, is something I’ll write about soon because it was a King Kong of a year there, with so much life lessons and life experiences so compact, I’ve learnt more in one year than I did over my entire lifetime. Exactly a year after I moved to Port Elizabeth I found out that I’m moving back to Johannesburg, another good move from God, things were getting out of control again and He had to intervene. The reasons are what we’ll get in to later on in my blog posts. The point is that I am in Johannesburg, my second year in Masters (Politics); yes I know it’s quite dramatic too! I am to hand in my dissertation on the 1st of November, I am very excited to complete it so that I can have a normal life without academic books lying around and getting headaches about what sounds more academic, ‘the dog died’ or ‘the canine animal has expired, and this can be proven by the discontinued movement of its chest, lack of air coming through its nostril openings and the absence of cardio rhythms’. That’s not all, you even have to reference an autopsy report and if there isn’t one you make sure you get it somehow!
I need to escape somehow and write what I feel like, because I love it, writing is something I do, it defines me, I started a diary when I was ten years old and I write in my diary since then, every so often, perhaps the definition of ‘journal’ describes it best because I don’t write every day, I write in it when I’ve learnt something valuable or something emotional has happened and I need to vent or share my happiness, or the lovely people I’ve met and the progress of our relationships, I write in it twice a week at least. As soon as I was literate, seven years of age, I started writing stories, pages and pages long. It calms me, gives me a focus point, and somehow I learn things about myself that way, unexpected thoughts come out, as a right brain dominant person I often struggle to express myself verbally, I know what I want to say and what I feel but explaining it to the people around me is very hard because the majority of the world don’t think like me, luckily my dad is right brain dominant too so he often just looks at me and know exactly what’s going on. I understand people by what they feel and not what they say, I respond to emotions and look at facial expressions to find my answers, that’s just how my brain works, that’s why 80% of the time I know exactly when someone is lying to me, it’s just the way my brain works. That’s probably why many of my relationships don’t work, people say ‘I love you’ or ‘It is fine’ or ‘Everything is going to be okay’ or ‘I didn’t do it’, but their true feelings speak louder to me than their word. I have been wrong sometimes, especially when I’m angry, when I’m angry I shut off to what others feel because I don’t care at that selfish moment, but I’ve been right nearly all the time, it is awesome! My mother would argue though that there is more involved than just my ‘reading feelings’ that caused me to fail in many relationships, talking about friendly as well as romantic relationships, you know mothers, they’re always right, but we’re not talking about the sticky stuff just yet though. I often stare at people and they get very uncomfortable, who wouldn’t? Wierdo! What they don’t realise is that I’m analysing, that’s me making sense of what they’re doing or just said, processing, their emotions are communicating back through their movements, the reflection in their eyes and the little lines and muscles in their face and hands (yes hands too). I think constantly in pictures and feelings, and I’ve found that writing gave me a passage of expression I could never have imagined doing if I had to speak and explain on the spot, it gives me time, and figuratively I manage to explain a situation, and pinning a certain feeling or multiple feelings to it people finally get the message I so desperately need to get out.
I didn’t really want to talk to you about my brain…I’m sure it’s all very interesting, that’s another thing, I get distracted and have to refocus myself if I want to reach a point or goal. Anyway, as you’ve noticed I have a lot to say, in my dairy, or ‘journal’, there is a lot of life lessons, sometimes I want to give it away to people as a gift, but then again there is some horrible things in there too, dark and mysterious that I really don’t want them to see. I’ve grown so much over the years, but I have so far to go too, it’s never ending, you never stop learning from life, and this is why I started this blog, to put my life lessons out there (without the heavy secrets of my journal), and share it with those who want to grow with me. I am twenty three now and have taken a big leap in life concerning maturity, but there lies at least three more giant leaps before me and even then I won’t stop growing until it’s time to leave this life. As I’ve learnt from those dear to me who have been taken so early in their short lives, it can happen any moment, some day we all have to pass from this life, I want to leave something behind before it’s time for me to move on. I have to say that the best lessons I’ve learnt was from the lessons of others, take it from me, learn as much as you can from those around you, it helps when you have to face the same thing in your own life. Don not however stick to the opinion of just one person, like we do when we are teenagers, you have this fantastic cool person you want to be like and no one else matters, you’re parents are always wrong and the rest are too ‘uncool’ to matter really, do you remember when your mother gave you advice about something and you thought she was nuts and have no idea what she’s talking about because of course she doesn’t understand you, no one does? And then that fantastic person gives you the same advice and without really thinking about it, or telling your mother, you follow their advice, because THAT person said it. Oh dear, to be a teenager and so high on hormones. That was me not too long ago, the point is that you should do your research, like you would write a critical essay, and get the opinions and advice of many before you can choose your desired path. It sounds so dramatic, but it’s really simple, don’t just think you have all the answers, like I often do, it’s okay to hear from others and then make your own decision, or learn from others’ life lessons for future reference….this sounds too academic. This is what I am, just another voice, another perspective, another opinion, and as a human I will be wrong or completely misguided sometimes, but that’s how we grow, by making as many mistakes humanly possible (not deliberately of course), I invite you to grow along with me on all possible levels.
When I turned 20 years old I celebrated the fact that I’ve completed two decades of my life, so of course I wrote something, it’s called ‘My Third Decade’, within it is all the things I could think of that I’ve learned over the past two decades, and also all I hope to achieve before I’m 30, marking the end of my Third Decade. Reminds me so much of Jane Fonda’s book, ‘My Life So Far’, I recommend it to everyone!! She explained how as a 60 year old she entered her Third and Final Act, you know like William Shakespeare’s expression of life as a stage. She too put in the book all of her life lessons so far and what she hoped to achieve in future. You can imagine me as a teenager when I first read that book, seventeen to be exact, only what Jane Fonda said mattered! J In this blog I will take you along on my journey through the Third Decade, three years have passed so far, and I will write about them as well as we move along, I discover many new and wonderful things every day, whether it was a heart gripping or funny film, an outstanding book, a television program, politics and more politics, so many wonderful and interesting people, a stumble block, a shortcoming, a strength, a helping hand, and of course the many many many lessons life through at us to keep us awake and our blood pumping. I will share these outstanding moments with you on my way to complete my Third Decade!
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