Suffering with Purpose

Earlier this weekend that passed I sent one of my very close friends a speech of mine that I did a year ago. I realised the day I did the speech as well as from the reaction I got from my friend that it is quite inspiring to many people, I then sent it to a few other friends. I think that I am now ready to put it public and share it with more people who can learn and grow with me as we all continue on this path of life together. I often still have to remind myself about everything written in this speech, it's very easy to feel sorry for ourselves and give up, it's much harder to stand up and face life as it is and seek the truth in all of it, the meaning, and then to put it away and walk forward again. We are all affected by suffering but how we allow it to affect us is our decision. 

Certain things have changed in my life, and it will never be the same, I work hard to rid myself of the negative effects and work even harder to build upon the positive effects, I have to be selective in what should change and what shouldn't. For instance, the fact that I am more careful and more observant of my environment, not taking unnecessary risks in places where I don't feel secure is a positive change that this situation has brought into my life, and I want to keep it because it makes me better, but a change that I do not want to keep is the one where I don't see the good in people anymore, I started to believe that everyone is evil and bad. 

It is much better I have to say, I trust people more than I use to in the beginning, and I do believe in the good of all people but also that we are all capable of anything, it all comes down to choice, I am however more careful around people than I use to be, I use to be careless and naive. What I'm trying to say is that we should look at troubles in our lives as a lesson and an opportunity to take something wonderful from it and add it to WHO YOU ARE, and learn to overcome the negative aspects it brought into your life, the more we overcome the stronger we become!! 

I was asked to speak at an Inspirational Women's event in Port Elizabeth on Women's Day in August 2010, about a year ago. I didn't know what to say, but after some prayer this is what came out, and I hope this brings  some meaning in many people's lives.

Suffering with Purpose:

Molweni Manenekazi! ('Good evening ladys' in Xhosa)

Round about 2010 years ago, a man around the age of thirty stood before King Herod of Israel where he was condemned to death, even though no crime was found against him. The King gave him to the people who then tortured his body, he was mutilated in such a way that half of his flesh was lying on the ground. He was then put on his head a crown of thorns that pierced his already ripped, bloody skin. On top of his deeply wounded back, that was already continually pouring out blood from beatings with iron spiked whips; they put a big, heavy wooden cross to carry towards his fate. A body in such pain, yet they continued to nail his hands and feet to the cross. He was the last man to die of the three that was crucified that day, yet he was the only one who was beaten in such a way that he should have died before he was nailed to the cross! When he died a big thunderous roar irrupted from the heavens silencing all who watched. This was the Son of God, God’s most precious gift but He allowed him to be treated in an unthinkable way, this all for the biggest purpose of all, our salvation.

Earlier this year on the 14th of March I was walking on camp premises not far from here, it was early in the morning and I was praying and preparing spiritually for the day. A man came out from nowhere and robbed me before he strangled me with his arm and dragged me into the fields where he attempted to murder me if I did not cooperate. He raped me and tried to kill me again, this was the second time he failed, he then continued in trying to abduct me and there was a third murder attempt. Through the entire time I was very calm, fear never stayed longer than a few seconds at a time. I was completely taken over by a much higher power, and delivered from death, and miraculously released by my abductor.

Where was God when I was in pain?: “My precious child, I never left you during your time of trial. Where you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

God never said that we will not experience trial, in fact His only Son was trialed many times and was put through the most horrendous suffering imaginable, the cross. Therefore our suffering is our own cross. I stand in front of you today a whole person, I’ve not been broken, nothing was taken from me, I am as happy as ever to be alive, and I still love my country. A mere hour of my life was spent in suffering but that was all, I am stronger than ever. Therefore not only did God protect me, the essence of me the one that is inside, my spirit, but He made me stronger than I've ever been. Every day is a blessing to me!

He said that we should cast our burdens on Him and He will take care of us (Matthew 11:28-30). I did, and He took care of me through other women in my life. I was able to heal and be completely restored through the support of wonderful friends back in Johannesburg and here in Port Elizabeth, and also the amazing women in my family! Without them it would have taken longer and it would have been harder. The one woman, who has ensured my healing, is my mother. This is a woman who has experienced many sufferings in her own life, yet she was the strongest pillar during mine. Refusing me to lie down she pulled me up and showed me the way, because she knew, suffering comes with purpose.

Her purpose in my life helped me to find the purpose of my suffering and that is to be the voice of the voiceless, to speak for those women who can’t, to stand for those who are beaten to the ground. To speak in a society where silence is favored, and women are ignored. Carry those who have no more will to live. I want to provide strength to the weak and be a light in all this darkness. I want my love and joy to overflow from my heart to yours.

As women, especially women of Africa, we have all experienced some form of suffering, whether it is death and loss, illness, abuse, discrimination, oppression, war, poverty, exhaustion, pain and loss of our children, and many other struggles we women often have to face. We should not lower to the ground; we must pick up our cross everyday for it has a purpose. It can be very difficult, but we will not be overcome by suffering, because suffering without purpose is torture! How do we find the strength?: “And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.” (Nehemiah 8:9-11) This is how we are able to be happy, contagiously so, on a continent that is filled with pain and sadness to the outside. We have a key, something powerful that is beyond human understanding, and often inexplicable, it is experienced by those who accept it.

I want to urge every woman here, we are all either a mother, daughter, niece, an aunt, or simply a friend, let us reach out to each other, woman to woman. We need to strengthen each other, be the pillar to someone in their suffering and in the moments of sadness all women experience even years after trauma. If a friend is crying over past suffering, lie next to her and cry together as sisters, then laugh together as children and start over again, and do not stop, and in this way inspire others. They may cut our bodies, they may bomb our houses, and they may assault us or beat us, they can take away everything we have, but we will survive, we will be stronger and we will rejoice! Jabulani! As the 20,000 women who staged a March on the 9th of August 1956 against the Urban Area Act that marked our National Women’s Day said: YOU STRIKE A WOMAN, YOU STRIKE A ROCK!

Enkosi Manenekazi ('thank you ladys' in Xhosa)